Why Love Hurts. A Sociological. Explanation. Eva Illouz polity The right of Eva Illouz to be identified as Author of this Work has been asserted in accordance. Why Love Hurts has ratings and 46 reviews. Faith said: I’ll be honest: I didn’t finish the book because I skimmed through the last two chapters and d. 17 Dec I read Eva Illouz’s Why Love Hurts with both personal and professional interest. As a divorced rabbi who meets with hundreds of singles and.

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A Sociological Explanation by Eva Illouz. In that ambitious intent, you need good material, and this book over-relies on internet posts and Victorian novels to prove its point.

Such cultural invocation might, in fact, take us closer to the goals of feminism, which have been to build ethical and emotional models congruent with the social experience of women. The prince shines, full of dash, bravery, illuoz brio. They come in many shapes: Aug 14, Ben McFarland rated it really liked it.

Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation

Our relationship with relationships is now so chaotic that it touches every part of our psyche. The calculation of how to pressure, when to pressure, to coax, to cajole, or to strategically retreat can lead romance columnists to sound a little like von Clausewitz.

Women may have fled to nunneries and men marched to war over it, poets pined away, playwrights gone to jail for it, and Meatloaf promised to do anything for it, but experts believe love has never caused such acute suffering as it does now.

She’s right that, at some point, our most important personal question has changed from Rene Decartes’s “Do I exist? Love has become dis-embedded from social frameworks and as such has become the site through which the self is validated and valued.

I remain convinced that addressing the power dynamics of non-heternormative relationships would enrich her argument.


Why Love Hurts – Eva Illouz | Full Stop

It’s just that individuals now face a market of choices, a market of sex, and that can create great conflict and disconnect. There are few things more essentially unromantic than a multiple-choice exam. Instead of hammering at men their emotional incapacity, we should invoke models of emotional masculinity other than those based on sexual capital.

Women and men often have contradictory agendas and the search for love is becoming increasingly rationalized through the advent of internet dating. For most couples, the little fraud evx emblematic of a bigger one.

But he cannot stop and demands to know who it is. In other words, men gain more social currency by having more sexual partners for as long as possible whereas women gain social currency by creating families. As a divorced rabbi evva meets with hundreds of singles and couples, I hear the same promises and plaintive cries: To stave off suffering, Illouz believes we have retreated into our imagination and fantasy, into realms that we can control, where we can orchestrate the emotional experience.


Because his scorn doesn’t shape or affect her sense of self and value. Illouz struggles with two consistent tensions. Who can commit in an age of broken glances? The ways in which capitalism ilpouz transformed emotional patterns One dominant theme concerns the ways in which capitalism has transformed emotional patterns, in the realms of both consumption and production.

Loved her wby of emotional domination and male commitment issues. One can also expect to find transcripts from personal interviews and interactions on Internet dating sites within the text.

Illouz does not pine for an earlier world. In all of these realms, psychology established itself as the ultimate authority in matters of human distress by offering techniques to transform and overcome that distress. All this is interspersed with cursory interruptions from the heavy hitters in sociology, critical theory, gender studies and psychoanalysis: She begs him to forget it, but he will not. Paradoxically she then categorically asserts that the argument advanced in this book is not relevant to women who are situated or who situate themselves outside of the heteronormative conditions which structure social relations.


Love hurts more than ever before (blame the internet and capitalism)

Illouz describes her research as being heteronormative. Sooner or later the worshipper will be disappointed and be forced to readjust expectations. Jun 11, Full Stop added it Shelves: Romantic encounters moved from the home to the sphere of consumer leisure lovf the result that the search for romantic love was made into a vector for the consumption of leisure goods produced by expanding industries of leisure.

Ambivalence is not intrinsic to the psyche but is a property of the institutions that organize our lives.

An Age of Broken Glances: On “Why Love Hurts” – Los Angeles Review of Books

This is a brilliant, original and beautifully written book aimed at and accessible to a general reader. What’s particularly interesting to me is how Lkve conclusions l Here a sociologist and feminist deconstructs why so many people are so obsessed with romantic love, and so depressed and insecure when disappointment oove.

We treat looking for love as we would approach a buffet table, says sociologist Eva Illouz, in a new book being hailed as an “emotional atlas” for the 21st century.

A milestone in the investigation of changing patterns of love wjy marriage. No trivia or quizzes yurts. Open Preview See a Problem? Her positioning of emotions as part of social structures is a timely provocation and makes a valuable contribution to, and indeed revitalises and reorients the sociology of emotions.

The book is focusing on love in classic books, online dating, desire and imagination. If you cannot be powerless in love you cannot know bliss.